Feeling Lost

Hi all!

I know that my attention to my blog has been quite lacking lately and I think I can finally explain why.

Since the new year, I have been in a funk. I have not felt like crocheting. I have been completely uninspired. And without working on any crochet projects or having any inspiration, it has been really difficult to figure out what I should write for my two posts a week.

This weekend, I took some time to think about what has really been eating away at me. It’s pretty obvious once you take the time to think about it. Since I graduated last May, I haven’t been very successful at finding a good job or at figuring out a direction to go in life. I put so much work (and money) into my degree and now I just don’t know what to do. On top of the pressure I was already putting on myself to find a job/career, my student loans started to kick in in December and it’s impact on my bank account set in this month.

I never saw myself in this position. I never expected to feel like such a failure. I thought I would be successful after college and now I just feel like I’m just so lost. I am too afraid to go back to get some sort of graduate degree since I don’t know what I would like to do and since I don’t want to put myself further in debt.

I know you might be thinking, surely if I am feeling so much pressure I could just find any salary job and do that until I figure out what to do. And you would be right, but I am finding it so unbelievably hard to keep myself motivated to apply for jobs that I know I’m not going to be happy in. I never wanted to be the type of person who lives for the weekend. Being happy at my job is very important to me since I don’t find money to be a great motivator. I wouldn’t mind taking a job that didn’t have the best pay as long as I loved what I was doing.

Crocheting and this blog was filling that void and giving my life some purpose. Goals to work toward. But in this new year, I haven’t been able to see it that way. I have been so focused on my failures in life that I have been completely distracted. I want to work past this slump. I want to crochet more and become more regular on my blog again and to stop feeling so down on myself. I really hope you guys can stick with me through this rough patch.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. I’m sorry if there a lot of typos. I wrote this from my cell phone while laying in bed.

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2 thoughts on “Feeling Lost

  1. Hi Colleen, I found your blog through a random crochet blog search. I’m new to writing a blog but coincidentally today I was working on my new post, (it’s not finished so I haven’t posted it) and I was talking about this transition stage where I too just graduated school and unemployed, no longer a student after being that all my life I’m kind of lost trying to find my identity, fill my time and distract myself from rejections I get to applications I make. I’m here to commiserate, you and I are not alone apparently and looking for crafts to do it felt nice to find someone else although not nice that you’re going through this but this is something that no one really prepares you for “hey get an education” they say, “work towards a career” they tell you but it will take a while before anything comes your way, it sucks but keep looking for ways to get out of this slump and hope you feel encouraged to try new things 🙂

    • It’s always so comforting hearing from other people that are working through the same problems as I am so thank you for sharing. I will be sure to check out your post when you finish it. Good luck with your blog and your own identify search!

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